The God of Wine is crouched down
Sep. 29th, 2001 12:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bjornwildeOkay last night was hard.
We went to Annie's to met Patty after her birthday dinner. Had a great time. Saw Perki and Tina. Was good talking with Perki and Patty. Talked a bit with Tina. She seems nice, I with hold judgment until I get more then five minutes and not at a club or bar. Pie was good, Blackberry and Apple. Coffee was good. Talk was fun. There was even two other B-day Bashes going on in the same place. All and all, a good night.
What's so hard?
Perki was drinking the "Water of Life" as the Irish call it, Scotch as the Scottish call it. I don't expect or want anyone or any of my friends to censure the actions around me, i.e. don't stop drinking around me. But I have to say that Scotch smelled GOOD. And I so missed the taste. Enough too get a bit depressed about it. Enough that I was arguing with myself that I could have one without falling back down. As depressing as it was, I didn't. I guess I wasn't ready to have just one. I am sure I could have had just the one and not touched anything more, whether at home or at the bar. But I didn't want to take that step and I wanted to Badly. What held me back I don't know. I went out for smokes, I talked Changeling with Perki. Talked about life and music with Perki, Zoe was talking with Patty. But every time we came back to the table, the God of Wine was sitting there right next to me. I know part of it was that I didn't want to let Zoe down, but I think I really didn't want to let myself down. And that's what stopped me or at least kept the God of Wine at bay. If I drank, even once, without even a month passing, how can I expect to get over this?
BTW By God of Wine I don't mean Dionysus. I am referring to a 3rd Eye Blind song, "The God of Wine."
And then once we got home and went to bed I couldn't sleep until sometime like 4am. I even got up and out of bed and came and got online and looked for you guys on ICQ but none of you were online.
We went to Annie's to met Patty after her birthday dinner. Had a great time. Saw Perki and Tina. Was good talking with Perki and Patty. Talked a bit with Tina. She seems nice, I with hold judgment until I get more then five minutes and not at a club or bar. Pie was good, Blackberry and Apple. Coffee was good. Talk was fun. There was even two other B-day Bashes going on in the same place. All and all, a good night.
What's so hard?
Perki was drinking the "Water of Life" as the Irish call it, Scotch as the Scottish call it. I don't expect or want anyone or any of my friends to censure the actions around me, i.e. don't stop drinking around me. But I have to say that Scotch smelled GOOD. And I so missed the taste. Enough too get a bit depressed about it. Enough that I was arguing with myself that I could have one without falling back down. As depressing as it was, I didn't. I guess I wasn't ready to have just one. I am sure I could have had just the one and not touched anything more, whether at home or at the bar. But I didn't want to take that step and I wanted to Badly. What held me back I don't know. I went out for smokes, I talked Changeling with Perki. Talked about life and music with Perki, Zoe was talking with Patty. But every time we came back to the table, the God of Wine was sitting there right next to me. I know part of it was that I didn't want to let Zoe down, but I think I really didn't want to let myself down. And that's what stopped me or at least kept the God of Wine at bay. If I drank, even once, without even a month passing, how can I expect to get over this?
BTW By God of Wine I don't mean Dionysus. I am referring to a 3rd Eye Blind song, "The God of Wine."
And then once we got home and went to bed I couldn't sleep until sometime like 4am. I even got up and out of bed and came and got online and looked for you guys on ICQ but none of you were online.
