It helped me, so maybe it will help you
Jan. 16th, 2019 09:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bjornwildeSaw this on Tumblr yesterday:
This really resonated with me as I’ve been doing things to improve my quality of life—fitness, career, getting daily creative with writing and drawing, which has been making me really happy—yet have lately been feeling overwhelmed. Like I was trying to do too much and I couldn’t possibly handle it all, and was frankly missing the numb out days. The comfort of being sad…or passive/numb in my case.
I’m still feeling that way, but I am realizing the danger in it and yet allowing myself to feel the grief or sadness to not be numb. I don’t want to return there.
My brother was diagnosed with depression years before I was, and because of that he started therapy years before I did.
I still remember when I was a young teen and he was playing a Nirvana song and he stopped it at this one line: “I miss the comfort of being sad”
He told me that when you start to get better, there’s a part of you that misses being sad and that if you start feeling that way you have to be extra extra aware and careful because if you indulge the feeling you’ll go down a self-destructive spiral.
I still remember when I was a young teen and he was playing a Nirvana song and he stopped it at this one line: “I miss the comfort of being sad”
He told me that when you start to get better, there’s a part of you that misses being sad and that if you start feeling that way you have to be extra extra aware and careful because if you indulge the feeling you’ll go down a self-destructive spiral.
This really resonated with me as I’ve been doing things to improve my quality of life—fitness, career, getting daily creative with writing and drawing, which has been making me really happy—yet have lately been feeling overwhelmed. Like I was trying to do too much and I couldn’t possibly handle it all, and was frankly missing the numb out days. The comfort of being sad…or passive/numb in my case.
I’m still feeling that way, but I am realizing the danger in it and yet allowing myself to feel the grief or sadness to not be numb. I don’t want to return there.
