but where's the fun gone

[bjornwilde]

I had a realization last night when I was talking to my wife about why I don't use the iPad Pro we'd bought for our 18th anniversary. My first thought when thinking about it had been I usually see her using it and didn't want to interrupt her time, but then I paused and asked myself what I had wanted to use it for, which was for art as we also bought one of the Apple pens at the same time. Which made me realize my sincere reluctance to draw. Which made me acknowledge I am intimidated by drawing.

See in my head I can imagine all the cool things I could draw but once the pen is in my hand, the dread settles in and so I avoid drawing. I fear the lack of skill to draw what I want. I fear the time commitment drawing takes. I fear getting in the zone of drawing and having to pull myself out because something needs my attention. I fear not being able to get in the zone. I fear it not being fun and just a failed waste of time.

I think my writing is suffering from the same fear.

I need to get both drawing and writing back to being fun things, no matter how much time they take or how often I have to keep picking up the pen cause I get interrupted. The idea will be there when I get back, or another will take it's place. Ideas are cheap after all. It's the getting down and polishing that adds value.

Comments

[ceitfianna]

Its really easy to get in your own head about creative stuff. Maybe post a fic DE or something. I know I've found that sometimes answering prompts and just going and I will write can help.

[bjornwilde]

I might do that Thursday. I've been avoiding it since Friday's are Lee's days now and Fridays tended to be fic days, but eh, more fic right?